do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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