Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
