Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
