I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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