Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
