I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
