yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
