piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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