we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
