I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
