the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
