I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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