So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize