just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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