I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
