you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
