3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize