you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
