There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Small penises have feelings too.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
