Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think my vagina is haunted
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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