if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
