My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize