I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
