Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie