we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level