physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.