I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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