its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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