Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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