: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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