I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
