Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
