Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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