guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
