I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
