I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
