The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she peed on how many people?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
