I'd wear matching sweaters with you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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