I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my poor anus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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