so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
