She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
