So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
