What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
