dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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