great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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