if you like me you must not know who I am
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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