I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
