she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
