He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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