Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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