she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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