Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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