im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
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SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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