we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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