know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
