O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
that is very illegal...i love you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
