just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
