Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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