like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
