He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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