who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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