I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
