i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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