You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
