so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
