awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
