similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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